The sexual drive you had in your 20s is
not the same as when you have in your 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond.
In your 30s and 40s, you are usually busy with raising the kids and working to secure your financial future. You hardly have any time to concentrate on your sex life. You might not prioritize your sex life during these years. And you might not notice the changes until it hits you in the face.
In your 50s and beyond, with your kids most likely out
of the house, you can now give your sex life some priority.
But now you find that you have a low sex drive. Why? There are lots of reasons why your sex desire declines as you age including fluctuations in your hormone levels, illnesses, job stress, and relationship issues.
There is no need for worries though. And, you are not alone. Having low libido as you advance in years is normal. Many women experience it. Nonetheless, it doesn’t mean that you can’t rekindle the fire in your sex life. Read on to find some unexpected ways of enhancing your sexuality while aging.
Tips to enhance female sexuality while aging
1. Mind-body loop
A woman’s body undergoes many changes as she grows older. Poor body image for most women is one of the leading causes of low sex drive and lack of confidence in the bedroom.
Get the negative thoughts about yourself out of your head. As Nicole Kidman says, beauty is about how you feel inside not how you look on the outside. The journey to loving your body starts in your head and heart because your state of mind affects your ability to be sexually aroused.
You must convince your brain about what you believe. Any person who has ever struggled with self-esteem issue knows that getting rid of the negative thoughts is not easy. However, when you encourage pleasant thoughts often enough, you begin to accept yourself the way you are and believe that you are desirable.
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2. Communicate with your partner
Although sexual desire declines with age, this can also be due to problems in the relationship. There is more to sex than just the act. Sex is about intimacy.
Talk to your partner about any insecurities and frustrations you might be having. Discuss any other issues that may be causing problems in the relationship.
It is difficult to be in the mood to engage in intercourse when you are holding resentment towards your partner. Couples who talk about sex have been said to have better sex. Opening up helps couples remain emotionally connected.
3. Determine what works for you
We all would like to remain young and energetic, but age catches up with us. Many celebrities go to various extremes to stay youthful.
Understand that your body will not be as comfortable in some sex positions as when you were younger. Find the ones that work for you, preferably the sex positions for couples over 50 years of age.
You do not have to practice the entire Kamasutra to enjoy having sex. But trying as many as you can until you find the ones that are best for you is going to be fun.
4. Adopt a healthy lifestyle
Most of us have felt self-conscious at some point in our lives. This feeling may become amplified with all the body changes you are going through and might affect your sex life. Follow the example set by Jennifer Aniston and Halle Berry who do intense workouts to keep fit and stay in shape; you can’t even tell that they are in their late 40s.
If you aren’t a big fan of your body right now, start leading a healthier lifestyle. Some of the things you can do include
- Starting an exercise program
- Eating healthy balanced diets
- Getting enough sleep
- Investing in safe skincare products.
As Cindy Crawford says, to look good as you age, you have to eat right, drink water and stay active.
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5. Be spontaneous
Most times when you do the same thing too many times, boredom is bound to set in. The same thing happens in marriages, especially monogamous ones. You have been with your significant other for many years, and sex could start to feel routine and boring. Change things up a bit to spice up your sex life.
If your partner is the one always to initiate the sex, then maybe it’s time you took some control. Go on romantic getaways to enjoy time alone with your significant other away from the stress of your job and other external factors. Surprise your partner by wearing sexy lingerie every once in a while.
If you find it challenging to get in the mood for sex, then the therapeutic effect of essential oils might be just what you need. Sexually stimulating oils such as lavender, jasmine and clary sage can create the perfect calming mood to enjoy some sensual lovemaking.
Leah Vautrot, an aromatherapist, recommends using aromatherapy for couples who would like a better sex life. This method stimulates all your senses preparing you for a night of romance.
Your older years can be awesome, as can be witnessed by looking at some celebrities who have aged well such as Helen Mirren (67) or Christie Brinkley (58).
While advancing in age, your body undergoes a lot of changes that affect your sexuality. It is not uncommon for women to lose their sexual desire while aging. However, you can use the many techniques available that can help enhance and maintain your sexuality.
Every woman should be able to enjoy sex no matter what their age.
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Dylan Menders, CST
Dylan Menders is a relationship psychologist and sexologist. He works with people in self-development, mindset and human behavior. He helps people overcome sexual problems in marriages and to unleash their true self. He is an editor at
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